


Motion Picture

by akiirameta



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Inspired by movies, Kinda?, M/M, Mentions of Mental Illness, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:11:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akiirameta/pseuds/akiirameta
Summary: Jongin finds that he quite likes foreign movies - and the guy he rents them from.





	1. Exposition

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on a post by kaisoochateau.  
> Thank you to all the people that listened (and are listening) to me complain while writing this, you are lovely. ♥
> 
> This was originally posted on AFF, starting in March of 2017.  
> Feel free to message me on twitter @mmallow_squishy, and yell at me to finally continue this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is still unedited and unbetaed, so I apologize for any mistakes.

It was 3am once again and Jongin couldn’t sleep.  
He couldn’t pinpoint why – it wasn’t like he was ill or under intense stress, but his mind just wouldn’t shut down. It wasn’t the noise either – he was used to it after living in the city his whole life. The cars, the yells, the bright advertising and the smells were normal to him. He checked his phone again, but there were no new messages.

Two hours later, his eyes finally closed and his mind drifted to sleep.  
Jongin never really dreamt, or at least he couldn’t remember doing so in the morning. For him, sleep was just this warm darkness, not pretty images or nightmares. He didn’t really mind that, but then again, he didn’t know how anything else would be.

At 6:34, he was suddenly woken up by loud yelling.  
It was his mother, shouting at him to get up and get ready for school. Irritated, Jongin turned around and tried to get a few additional minutes of rest. His mom was having none of that, shaking him awake. Sighing, he accepted his fate and sat up on his bed, bare feet hitting the plush carpet next to his bed. He slowly walked over to his bathroom, eyes still halfway closed with sleepiness.

While he was brushing his teeth, his eyes opened fully. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, face puffy and red from sleep. Others would always tell him that he was quite good-looking, but Jongin couldn’t see it. To him, his eyes were weird and lips too big. He was used to it though, not paying much attention to his looks. He grabbed a towel from the shelf they were stored at and went to go take a shower.  
Under the hot water, his tense muscles relaxed a bit and he let out a content sigh as he ruffled through his bleached hair. As he was reaching for the vanilla-scented shampoo, he heard his mom knock on his bathroom door, telling him to hurry up. Jongin wondered if his older sisters had been treated like this too before they had moved out and quickly finished washing up before stepping out of the shower. Fluffy towel around his waist, he looked for some clothes to wear and decided on a simple black hoodie and jeans that were ripped at the knee. Not that it mattered, he was only getting ready for school.  
Once he finished dressing, he stepped out of his room and went over to the kitchen. His mother glared at him, clearly unhappy about him being late again.  
“Sorry mom, couldn’t sleep.” He said as he grabbed an already prepared piece of toast.  
“Jonginnie, you always say that, though.” She replied, sighing at her son’s apologetic smile. “Come on, we need to go. You’re late yet again.”

Mumbling something about how it didn’t matter anyways, Jongin stepped out of the apartment and followed his mother to their car, having grabbed his bag in the hallway a few moments before.

Twenty minutes and a car ride later, Jongin plopped down into his assigned seat in math class. He was blocking out his teacher’s rambling about him being late again, zoning out. His eyes went to the tree outside the window, focusing on how the browning leaves swayed in the light breeze outside. His mind, however, went to his room at home. To the friends he had online, the people that respected him instead of mocking him like his classmates did. He was looking forward to talking to them, still not bothering to pay attention to what was happening right in front of him.

“Kim Jongin!” he heard his teacher yell and turned his head to face the angry man.  
“Yes?” he asked, blinking slowly. He didn’t like being forced to focus on his surroundings.  
“Please answer the question I just asked you, Jongin.” The math teacher demanded.  
“Um… I’m sorry. Could you repeat that, Mr…?” Jongin’s brows furrowed as he tried to remember the name of the man he was speaking to. There was no use in acting like he had listened to any words that were said in class.  
“Park. You should know that, it isn’t exactly the start of the semester. Please go see the principal and take this with you.” The teacher reminded Jongin, giving him a slip of paper and gesturing for him to leave the classroom. Sighing, Jongin got up and took his bag, unfazed by his classmates’ stares as he headed out.

It took his mom thirty minutes to arrive at the principal’s office and another forty to drag Jongin home after having talked with the headmistress.  
“Jongin, you know I never swear. But what the hell have you been thinking? I know that you’ve been running late, but not doing your homework and zoning out in class? This is unacceptable and you know that. We’ve had this talk before. I’m doing it this time.” His mother was pacing around while keeping her eyes fixed on Jongin, looking more than displeased.  
“No, mom, listen –“he tried to argue, but was interrupted by more angry words.  
“No. I’m done listening. I’ll call her right now.”

It was Sunday now; four days had passed since his mom had made the call. Now, Jongin was stepping out of the car, eyes on the ground as he went around to get his bags from the trunk.  
“Jongin! Long time no see!” he was greeted by his aunt, walking towards them.  
“Hello auntie.” He simply answered, neither overly friendly nor harsh.

Jongin enjoyed living in the city. The noise, the bright lights, the masses of people felt like home to him. But then again, he had lived there his whole life. He wouldn't really know how living away from the city was and now he was about to find out.  
A year ago, during his junior year, his mom had first threatened to send him to live with his aunt and making him switch schools. Now, it was really happening. Additionally, she had taken away all his electronic devices, leaving him only with an old flip phone for emergencies.

Once his aunt had shown him the room he was supposed to stay in, Jongin locked the door and sat down on his bed. He didn’t know what to do now. For the past two years, the people around him had let him down. His dad disappeared to live with his new girlfriend, his mom buried herself in work, his sisters had moved out years before and his friends…, well he never had any to begin with. Online, he wasn’t super popular either, but he had people to talk to, people that would listen and understand.  
As he laid down, he felt utterly alone with the voice of his aunt sounding in the background.

It was 3am yet again and Jongin stared out of the window, looking at the stars he was previously unable to see. In Seoul, the bright advertising had prevented him from seeing the distant lights twinkle during his sleepless nights. He quite liked looking at them now, literally lost in space.

For the first time in hours, he looked around his room and found that there was a closet, a desk with a small lamp on it and some shelves, one of which held a TV that wasn’t connected to anything but the power outlet and a DVD player.

Jongin let his fingers run over the dusty surface of the device and then turned towards the door he had locked upon arrival. He hadn’t meant to be rude, being social just wasn’t exactly his thing. He knew that his auntie wouldn’t mind, she knew about everything that had happened. He turned the key in the lock and opened the door. He stepped out into the hallway, bare feet hitting the wooden floor as he looked for the bathroom.

The next morning, he was woken up by his aunt knocking at the door. First it was a soft, hesitant sound, but grew insistent with the time passing. Jongin knew that he should be excited or anxious about his first day at the new school, especially when he had switched at an unconventional time during his senior year. But he kind of didn’t really care.

His heart did flutter a bit as he stood in front of the other students in his first class of the day. There were ten other people taking literature, a stark contrast to the overcrowded classrooms back in Seoul. After introducing himself, he sank down onto a free seat, banding down towards his bag, looking for his beloved note book.

“Hi! I’m Park Chanyeol!” The boy sitting next to him exclaimed, a little too loud. Jongin was startled by the noise, looking up to the source of it.  
“Hello. I’m Kim Jongin.” He softly replied, eyes turning back to the contents of his bag.  
“I know! You just said that!” The tall boy said with a wide grin. “You aren’t the smartest, are you? Is that why you’re here?”  
“No. And I’d appreciate if you could tone it down a bit, I’m trying to find something.” Jongin shut the other up, still looking for his note book. He couldn’t find it, but he was sure that he had remembered to pack it. Giving up, he straightened his back and sat up, looking towards the front of the room.

He tried to listen to the teacher, he really did. But when the bell rang to let everyone know that first period had ended, he wasn’t sure what the teacher had talked about. He knew that he had to go buy a book they read, _The Cloud Dream of the Nine_ , some classical Korean literature.

His first school day ended without much happening. He talked to a few people and tried to take some notes. After school, to avoid going back to his aunt’s house, Jongin went to explore the neighbourhood. He hoped to find a book store so that he could buy the book and actually get some class work done. As he walked down the road, he noticed his stomach grumbling. Somehow, he had forgotten to eat anything besides the breakfast his aunt had prepared earlier. Deciding to change that, he went into a bakery to buy something to shut up his stomach.

“Hello, how can I help you?” The woman working there said, flashing him a friendly smile.  
“Can I have two pieces of manju*, please?” Jongin asked, shyly reciprocating the smile.  _[*Baked sweet pastry]_  
“Sure. Here you go.” She said, putting the treat into a paper bag carefully. “₩1000, please.”  
Jongin fumbled with his wallet, pulling out the appropriate amount of money before carefully putting it back in his pocket. It had been a gift from his eldest sister and the years of use had made the dark red leather brittle.

 

As he left the bakery, Jongin started to munch on one of the pastries. The taste reminded him of the times he went to get the sweet treat after dance practice when he was younger. Back then, his dad would pick him up from the studio and they’d spent some time sitting in the car and chatting while eating. As he remembered the precious memories with his father, Jongin’s appetite faded. He stuffed the food back into the paper bag and pulled out the old iPod his mom gladly had let him keep. He hit put in his earphones and hit play, listening to a boy group song he had once put on there.

After finding that the book store didn’t have the novel he was looking for in stock, he ordered it to be delivered to the store. He was ready to head home when he saw a bright advertising for a DVD rental store. Jongin stopped in his tracks, remembering the device in his room. If he couldn’t use the internet, he could at least take his mind off reality like that.

A soft bell rang once he entered the store, and he looked around. There was a song he didn’t know playing in the background. The place was clearly open, but there was no employee at the register. Jongin shrugged slightly and went towards the shelves on the left of the store. The first few movies that his eyes went to had English titles, and Jongin turned around to look for the Korean section. After a few minutes, he still was surrounded by unfamiliar titles he wasn’t able to understand.

  
“Are you looking for something?” A voice said, startling Jongin. He turned around to see where it originated from and saw a boy about his age glaring at him. He wore what looked like the store’s uniform and was a lot smaller than Jongin.

“Um…are there any non-foreign movies?” He asked, looking rather helplessly at the DVD in his hands. Judging by the cover, it must’ve been a comedy.

“What? No. This is international only.” The employee responded, still glaring at Jongin. He felt as if he was being judged for not knowing that.

“Oh. Sorry.” Jongin mumbled, putting down the DVD he still held in his hands, eyes fixed on the ground instead of the guy he was talking to.

“All of these have Korean subtitles, however. If that is what you’re worried about.” The other then explained, still looking rather disinterested.

After that, the employee left to sort through a pile of returns. Unsure about what to get, Jongin headed to the section labelled ‘romantic comedies’. You couldn’t really go wrong with them, and he definitely needed some positivity and love right now. Picking out one at random, he then went up to the counter.

“The Notebook? Bold choice.” The employee commented as he took the case to scan it.

“I kind of chose randomly.” Jongin admitted, staring at the smaller boy in front of him.

“Oh. Well, what do you usually watch?” The latter asked, looking up.

“I don’t usually watch movies, especially not foreign ones. Can you recommend one?”

“Um… I guess it depends on personal taste, but the one you chose is quite popular. But personally, I think it’s too sappy. And not that realistic.” He reasoned, DVD still in his hands.

“Okay, so what is a personal favourite of yours?” Jongin asked, putting his hand on the counter.

“Well, I’m guessing that you are looking for something not that serious, as this one is in the romantic comedy section. Let’s see.” The employee went around the counter and walked over to the section Jongin had previously been in.

“Here. You should try this one.” The small boy suggested, holding out a DVD case. Jongin could have sworn that the guy’s smile formed a heart as he stared at his face.

  
They both walked back to the counter and Jongin payed the small fee to rent the movie for one day. Tomorrow, he would have to come to the book store a few doors down anyways.

“Thank you – “Jongin looked at the name tag the employee wore. “- Baekhyun.”

“What?” the other asked, eyes widening. He then looked down at his shirt and checked his name tag. “Oh, no. That is my co-worker’s, I must have switched them on accident. It’s Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo.” He then smiled again, and this time Jongin was sure his lips were forming a heart.

“Kim Jongin. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, grabbing his movie before rushing out of the store.

  
As he arrived at his aunt’s place, his heart was beating a little faster. He tried to convince himself that the reason for that was the walk home, but he wasn’t sure. After giving his aunt a small nod of acknowledgment, he headed to his room and locked the door behind him.

He threw his bag on the desk carelessly and took of his shoes and his hoodie. His mom had made his aunt make sure that he was “properly dressed” on his first day at the new school, so his feet ached from wearing ankle boots instead of his usual sneakers. He ran his fingers through his hair, messing up the styling and sighed. At least he was allowed to wear jeans and a hoodie.

Before sitting down on his bed, he took out the DVD from his bag and put the disk into the device, taking the remote with him. As he hit play, he was immediately confused. The menu was in English and Jongin was cussing himself out for never paying attention last year when he had taken a class on the language. After five minutes, he managed to enable Korean subtitles and started the movie. The title appeared on the screen, reading “Love Actually”.

  
Surprisingly, the story was actually quite interesting and different from the movies and dramas he had watched back in Seoul. The city of London reminded him of his hometown, but also looked like an entirely different world. Jongin felt himself drawn in by the unfamiliar faces and settings but struggled to keep up with the subtitles, having to pause more than once.

After the movie ended, he laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It had been a long day of social interactions and new people, and Jongin was tired. He was still wearing his shirt and jeans, so he got up to grab some sweatpants from his suitcase, still not having put his clothes away. He quickly changed and unlocked the door to step out into the hallway.

It only was 8pm, but Jongin felt himself getting sleepy as he went towards the kitchen. Once he arrived at the door, he changed his mind and went to the bathroom instead, noticing how he hadn’t peed since the morning.  
Once he was done with that, he went to kitchen again and opened the fridge to look for something to eat. He took out some milk and grabbed a bowl, some cornflakes and a spoon, putting everything on the table.

As he was preparing his small meal, his aunt came into the room.  
“Nini! I can make you real food, you don’t have to eat cereal.” She said, giving him a worried look.  
“No, it’s okay. I like cereal.” Jongin stated, lifting the spoon to his mouth.  
“Okay. Just remember to have your meals, okay? What have you been doing, by the way?” She asked, not having seen her nephew much since he moved in.  
“I watched a movie.” Jongin replied, munching on his food.  
“That sounds nice! Which movie?” She raised an eyebrow out of curiosity.  
“It’s in English, you wouldn’t know it.” The boy couldn’t be bothered to be overly friendly right now.

After a few more minutes of his aunt asking questions and Jongin giving short replied, the latter headed back to his room. He picked up the remote again and pressed the button to eject the disk and picked up the DVD to put it back into the case. Picking up his bag, he stored the DVD inside together with his school supplies.

Once he had taken of his shirt and settled into bed, he thought about the day’s events. The school was okay, he had expected worse. The guy in his literature class was annoying, but everyone seems very friendly. And his little trip around the school’s neighbourhood had been interesting, being so different from the city centre of Seoul. The small book store seemed cosy instead of packed with people and the bakery was family-owned, by the look of it. As he thought of the bakery, he remembered the forgotten pastries he had bought earlier. He stood up and got the small paper bag, looking at the contents. Now, the treat had gotten cold, but it was too good to waste. Jongin sat down on his bed and ate the manju, trying not to remember his dad, but rather the fun he used to have in his dance classes back in Seoul.

Back then, he wasn’t only having fun, but was considered hugely talented. Before he started isolating himself, some companies had showed interest in him becoming a trainee, but Jongin always declined. He had no ambitions to become an idol in South Korea’s harsh entertainment world. Especially because of the country’s views on people like him. Jongin knew that he couldn’t pretend to be straight forever, and in this society, that was simply not acceptable.

His mom, his dad and his sisters were the only ones that knew about Jongin liking men. His online friends knew, too, he had nothing to lose on the internet. But coming out to anyone else still scared him, afraid of being judged. He was already kind of an outcast because of his bad grades and shyness and wasn’t trying to get any bullies’ attention.

When he finished eating his snack, he crumpled up the paper and threw it towards the desk, not bothering to put it away properly. In a few days, his room would become a mess regardless.

He laid down again, pulling the covers over him after having brushed off the crumbs.  
The scenes of the movie still were playing inside his mind, and he imagined himself walking the streets of London. He imagined himself loving someone and struggling to maintain a relationship, but the idea seemed so far away from reality that it almost made him laugh.

It was too quiet outside, so Jongin got out his iPod again and hit play. Some girl group song he forgot the name of started playing, and Jongin remembered dancing to it. His good friend back then, Sehun, had always whined about the cute choreography, but then gave his all while dancing to the bubble-gum track.

It was 3 am now, and there were still songs playing as Jongin’s eyes closed. Calmed down by the noise, Jongin fell asleep. He still didn’t dream about anything, but felt happier than a week ago as the previous day had been too busy for him to really lose himself in thoughts about the general concept of humanity and life again.

When his alarm clock sounded at 6:20am, Jongin opened his eyes slowly. He stretched and yawned, still too tired to get up and turned around under the covers, facing the window. Outside, the sky was painted pink by the sunrise. Usually, he kept his curtains closed but he must’ve forgot the day before. Unlike the smog filled sky of Seoul, the colour seemed bright and radiant here. Maybe it wasn’t too bad to stay here after all.


	2. In Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed that despite the setting being a Korean high school, there seem to be no school uniforms. I will stick with that, even though it was originally a mistake.
> 
> Warning: The movie Inception will be described here. There shouldn't be too much of a spoiler, but if you still want to avoid it, skip from the first "~" to the second.
> 
> unedited (there might be typos and grammatical errors, I'm sorry)

He wasn’t feeling too bad today, even though it was still definitely too early for Jongin’s liking.  
When his aunt knocked on the locked door to let him know that it was time to get up, he sighed. He lifted the warm covers and sat up, checking the time. When he got up, he suddenly missed the feeling of the plush carpet in his room back at home.  
Once he was dressed and had showered, Jongin went to the kitchen to join his aunt, whose footsteps he had heard earlier. Today, he was wearing his beloved ripped skinny jeans and a simple dark turquoise sweater, slightly wrinkled from being in his suitcase for two days.

His aunt smiled at Jongin as he entered the kitchen, picking up the pan that was sitting on the stove.  
“Your mom always mentioned how you like western food, so I made that for breakfast.”  
Jongin flashed her a small smile before sitting down at the table, elbows resting on the surface. It was true, he did like non-Korean food, and the French toast was a welcome change from his usual bowl of rice, dry toast or candy bar.

In the car on the way to school, his aunt commented on Jongin’s seemingly good mood that day. Jongin just nodded, putting his earphones in to distract himself, even though it wasn’t a long ride.  
His aunt stopped trying to talk on him, accepting his choice to isolate himself.  
When they arrived at the building, Jongin grabbed his bag, mouthed a “thank you” and exited the car, turning around to walk to class. He was actually early, so there was an unusually large amount of people in the hallways, even though the school was small. Jongin recognised some of the faces from the day before as he headed towards the room where his class would start in ten minutes. As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of an overly excited Chanyeol, who apparently didn’t mind the ungodly hour.

“Jongin! How was your first day? Was it fun? Were people nice to you?” the tall guy asked as he followed an annoyed looking Jongin to their seats.  
“It was okay. Why do you care?” he latter inquired, placing his bag at the floor and leaning against his desk.  
“I’m just being friendly. Taking care of you, like I’m supposed to as your hyung.” Chanyeol insisted, deep voice sounding a bit too loud.  
“Wait, you’re older than me? You certainly don’t act like it.” Jongin was surprised. The loudness and childish behaviour made him doubt the age of the taller.  
“Well, not everyone can always be cold and brooding. But yes, you said you're seventeen, so I’m older. By two years, actually.”  
“Damn. Okay. Thank you for trying to be helpful, but I don’t need a babysitter.”  
Jongin went to grab his small note book from his bag, actually having remembered to pack it today, and a pen.

Once their teacher entered, everyone started to settle down and take out their books, which Jongin didn’t have yet. As the teacher started talking about some chapter that he was obviously unfamiliar with, Jongin’s mind wandered again, his pen tracing lazy circles on the previously empty page of his note book. It had been a gift from his mother for his seventeenth birthday earlier this year.

His next few classes flew by, and Jongin wasn’t really able to focus, busy thinking about the movie he had watched the evening before. Soon, it was lunch time and he was holding some food he had bought in his hands, looking around the cafeteria, unsure where to sit. He was about to go towards an empty table at the back of the room when he was dragged away by a hand on his wrist.  
Looking up, he realised that it was Chanyeol who was pulling him to his friends.  
“Chanyeol, I told you that I don’t need a babysitter.” He hissed, but smiled at the other two guys anyways.  
Chanyeol chose to ignore the younger and began introducing him to his friends.  
“Guys, this is Jongin, the new guy. He’s in my lit class.”  
He was met with welcoming smiles and curious looks as he reluctantly sat down.  
“Kim Jongin, meet Kim Jongdae.” Chanyeol said as he pointed to one of them.  
The relatively small guy gave him a small nod, lips forming a cat-like grin.  
“We’ll be the Kim Jong brothers. What’s up, dude?”  
“And this is Tao, he’s from China.” Chanyeol introduced his other friend, a guy with uncommon features that Jongin was sure he had seen before.  
“Hello, how are you doing?” Tao asked in his accented Korean.  
“Aren’t you in my maths class?” Jongin asked, taking note of the apparent friendliness of Chanyeol’s friends.

After a few minutes of talking, Jongin still hadn’t touched his food, but had found out that Tao actually was called Zitao and that he was from Qingdao, but had moved to Korea during middle school because of his parents’ work. Jongdae had lived in the small town for all of his life, so did Chanyeol.

“You need to tell us about Seoul! That’s where you’re from, right? That’s so cool!” Jongdae gushed as he picked up his dessert.  
“Um…yeah, I am. There isn’t that much to tell, though.” Jongin stared at the table, already being done with his food.  
“Bullshit! The city must be so exciting, and imagine all the people. Did you ever see any idols?”  
“I did back when I… nevermind.” Jongin shook his head to signal that he didn’t want to talk about it.  
  


When his last class ended, Jongin quickly threw his stuff into his bag and stood up from his seat. It was 4pm already and the weather was gloomy, sky full of thick clouds. The heat of the summer was long gone, and Jongin zipped up his bomber jacket as he walked out of the building. On the streets, the colourful fallen leaves crunched under his shoes as he went to pick up the book he had ordered the day before. He wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about a novel from the 17th century, but he knew that he had to read it anyways. Besides, when his mom had taken the internet away from him, books seemed like a suitable option for taking his mind off the great questions in life he thought about too much.

He entered the bookstore, greeted by a display of the newest thrillers and crime stories, but ignored those and went straight to the counter. The employee handling his order seemed unfamiliar, Jongin was somewhat certain that a different person had helped him yesterday. He hadn’t really paid attention, and he wasn’t now. He put the book in his bag after paying a small amount of money and headed out, saying goodbye to the employee.

As he went into the DVD store, the bell signalling his presence sounded again, like the day before. This time, Kyungsoo was already at the counter, but Jongin almost didn’t recognise him. He wore glasses today, and his eyes looked much softer as he didn’t squint that much. He also wore a simple mauve coloured sweater instead of yesterday’s yellow and blue uniform. Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed Jongin yet, he was busy sorting through some new arrivals. Jongin smiled to himself when he saw the smaller’s brows furrow over a DVD and went up to the counter.  
  
“Hi, I wanted to return this.” He said, taking out _Love Actually_ from his bag.  
Kyungsoo umped slightly before looking at Jongin. “Oh! You startled me, sorry. Sure, no problem.”  
He took the case and scanned it before putting it on a pile with the few other returns from the day.  
“How did you like it, by the way?” The doe-eyed boy asked, looking up to Jongin expectantly.  
Jongin contemplated whether he should act all mysterious, but scratched the idea quickly.  
“I loved it, actually.” Jongin replied, eyes forming small crescents as he smiled.  
“Oh, I’m glad. Do you need something else?”  
“I…um…was wondering whether you could recommend me another movie.”  
“Sure, if you want. What are you looking for this time?”  
“Nothing in particular. Anything, really. Just no horror movies.”  
  
“I wouldn’t have thought that you get scared easily. Okay, let me see.” Kyungsoo went towards the aisles of movies, looking around. Jongin followed him wordlessly, occasionally looking over Kyungsoo’s shoulder to see what he was looking at. With their height difference, that wasn’t particularly difficult. From behind, Jongin noticed how nicely the smaller’s sweater contrasted with his fair skin and mahogany hair that looked like it desperately needed a trim.

Kyungsoo was looking through about six different DVDs, trying to decide which one to recommend.  
“Weren’t you wearing a uniform yesterday?” Jongin asked, breaking the comfortable silence.  
“Huh? Oh, right. I spilled coffee over myself in the morning. The polo shirts are provided by the company, but our boss doesn’t really care if we wear them.” Kyungsoo explained, still focused on choosing a movie.  
“Makes sense.” The taller commented before they fell back to silence.

The song that played over the radio ended and another one began, a slower song sung by a boy group. Jongin didn’t recognize it, but Kyungsoo apparently did when he started to softly hum along.  
Even though he wasn’t really singing, his voice sounded beautiful.  
“Okay, I think I’d choose this one.” The smaller finally decided, putting down the other DVDs.  
“But you have to tell me what you think. And don’t look up the plot or meaning, I want to hear your theories.” Kyungsoo demanded, glaring at Jongin, just like he had the day before.  
“Don’t worry, I won’t.” Jongin assured him, chuckling slightly. It wasn’t like he even had the possibility to break his promise.

Jongin left with the movie _Inception_ in his hands. He thought that he had heard the title somewhere before, but wasn’t too sure about it. The picture on the case was simple, a group of people standing around in the middle of the street, so he couldn’t make assumptions from that. He was excited to watch it and discuss with Kyungsoo, but suddenly remembered that he hadn’t asked if the other was even working the next day.

It was slowly getting darker when Jongin arrived at his aunt’s house, opening the front door and stepping inside the now familiar place. He was greeted by the smell of food, so he took of his beloved black sneakers and went to the kitchen to check on the source of the pleasing smell. He found his aunt standing in front of the stove, stirring something that looked a lot like kimchi jjigae*. _[*Kimchi stew, traditional Korean food]_  
“Oh, Jongin, you’re home!” She said, her smile reminding him of his mom’s.  
“Hello auntie.” Jongin softly said, looking at the pot of steaming stew from the side.  
“How was school?” The middle-aged woman asked, adding some salt to the home-cooked food.  
“It was okay. I talked to some people and bought a book for a class.”

Just because it had been a good day up to this point, that didn’t mean that Jongin wasn’t tired. Not necessarily from his activities or because of the time, it was just after six, but from all the social interactions. Even before everything went downhill, he had always been the shy, reserved type. Hiding behind his seniors when talking to new people at dance practice and rarely participating in class. To his luck, people always seemed to accept him and take care of him anyways. His best friend at dancing, Sehun, had been the opposite of him; the younger guy was loud, open and bratty. Now, Chanyeol seemed to take on a similar role, and he wasn’t sure if he liked that.

Sometimes Jongin missed dancing. He missed the confidence he felt when he was on stage, giving his everything with fluid movements and smirks. If he was straight, he would have had no problem getting a girlfriend.  
But most of the times, he didn’t really care. He was used to it by now.  
His mom had told him that he was silly when he quit dancing, that he was stupid when he broke off most of his social contacts, foolish for getting behind on his school work. Jongin agreed, he was an idiot. But that didn’t stop him from continuing on just like that, grades getting worse and days lonelier.

Jongin sighed when he went into his room after eating dinner, locking the door before shrugging off his pants to replace them with his not-exactly-clean light grey sweatpants, still wearing his sweater. He inserted the DVD into the player and sat down on his bed, then groaning when he realised that he had forgotten to take the remote with him, so he stood up to get it.

Once he had settled between his pillows, leaning against the wooden headboard of the bed, he hit play. At first, he wondered what Kyungsoo meant by “theories”, but that quickly changed. In his mind, Jongin applauded the actors for their performance as the movie kept getting weirder. Not in the sense of goofy or stupid things happening, but the plot seemed very complicated to Jongin. Once the movie had ended, he felt like there were too many unanswered questions. The Korean dramas he had watched with his mom, or the movies his sisters liked to watch when he was little always had a very definitive end, not leaving much to the imagination.

Jongin brought his knees to his chest as he thought about what had happened in the last 2.5 hours, trying to figure out the plot.  **~**  
The main character was travelling into other people’s dreams and was supposed to do something impossible, to implant one person's idea into someone else’s subconscious.  
Together with some others, he formed a team and they share a dream, which has multiple levels. At each level, the person generating the dream stayed behind, so that they can set up a "kick" that will be used to awaken the others from the deeper dream level. For that to work, these kicks must occur at the same time at each dream level, which is really difficult because time proceeds much faster in each successive level.  
From there, everything got weird. The kick is done too early that removes the gravity of one level, and causes an avalanche in another. Three of them killed each other and all fell into Limbo. When some of them revealed to have experimented before, the lines between reality and dreams start to blur. In the end, the main character checked whether he is dreaming or not using a small spinning top, but ignored the result to go live in peace.

Jongin was still unsure of the meaning of the ending. Was everything just a dream? And shouldn’t the main character care more about finding out?  **~**  
Frustrated because he couldn’t find an answer, Jongin unlocked his door and went to the kitchen. It was still relatively early, around 9:30, but his aunt had apparently already gone to bed. Jongin looked for some snacks in the cupboards and almost gave up, but then found a bar of chocolate that seemed perfectly suited for the situation. He took the sweet wrapped in foil back to his room, sitting down on his still warm bed again and looked out of the window. It was dark outside now, street lamps illuminating the houses across the road.

Jongin thanked his fast metabolism as he finished the last piece of chocolate, now having successfully eaten the entire bar in one sitting. He cursed a little when he realised that he had forgotten to bring a water bottle and went to the kitchen again to get one. At that moment, he just needed it to remove the thick feeling the chocolate had left behind, but at night, he would get paranoid if there wasn’t a water bottle next to his bed. He didn’t know why, he was not rationally afraid of anything like choking in his sleep, it just somehow reassured him.

It was 3am now, and Jongin had already brushed his teeth and taken off his shirt, but he couldn’t fall asleep. He still thought about the questions the movie brought up, questioning reality. Kyungsoo had weirdly picked a movie that was so closely related to his usual thoughts, and Jongin wasn’t sure whether that was a good or bad thing.  
He stared at the ceiling, focusing on a random spot of dirt. There really wasn’t anything interesting to look at, so Jongin closed his eyes, hoping to get some rest that way.

In the morning, he hadn’t gotten enough sleep, and waking up wasn’t that easy when you fell asleep just two hours prior. He ended up being just on time for school, dressed in a hoodie with the logo of his old school back at home, blue jeans, a black leather jacket and his beloved sneakers. His hair stood up in every direction, even though he tried to flatten it with his hands repeatedly. The damaged ends, a result of bleaching his hair up to a platinum blond, made his bed hair appear far worse than it actually was.

When he had removed his bag and jacket, Jongin sat down on his assigned chair for literature class. This time, he actually had a chance to participate, but chose to doodle song lyrics and oddly shaped creatures in his book instead, not paying much attention to the teacher in front and doing his best to ignore Chanyeol.  
His next class, geography, was equally uneventful. It was in maths class when he was looking for his calculator that he noticed Tao sitting next to him, offering him to use his instead. Jongin quickly thanked him with a smile, but just received a disinterested nod in response.

At lunch, Jongin sat alone, eating the sandwich he had bought. He listened to some music over headphones, but didn’t focus on the lyrics of the upbeat song. His mind kept going back to last night’s movie and the themes it touched upon. Dreams. Jongin didn’t dream, he never remembered made up stories, colourful worlds or twisted nightmares. He remembered darkness or nothing at all, as if his brain just turned off when he was asleep.

He looked up from his half-eaten lunch when he faintly heard someone sitting down. Jongdae, Tao and Chanyeol had joined him with their own food, so he removed one of his headphones.  
“Jongin! What happened to you, you look even worse than yesterday.” Jongdae asked, pointing at his wild looking hair.  
“Thanks for the compliment. Couldn’t sleep that well.” He mumbled, taking out the second headphone.  
“Texting your girlfriend back at home?” Chanyeol suggested, laughing a little at Jongin’s expression.  
“What? No. Why would you think that?!” Jongin said, more confused than angry.  
“I was just joking; don’t get mad, city boy. But seriously – “ Jongdae tried to explain himself, but Jongin was already drowning out the other three with loud music.

At 4pm, Jongin stood up when the bell announced the end of the school day. He took his time with packing his books into his bag and walked towards the front gate. It was raining lightly raining, not more than a drizzle, but it made the colourful leaves on the ground appear sad and mushy. While everything had looked golden the day before, it looked desaturated and grey now. He cursed a little when he realised that he had no umbrella, so he pulled the hood of his hoodie over his messy hair. With his hands in the pockets of his jeans, he went on his way to the DVD store. When he was about halfway there, he failed to see a puddle of water and stepped straight into it. He grumbled about his shoes now being soaked, the already damaged leather suffering even more.

The now familiar sound of a bell welcomed him into the store, accompanied by the sound of a foreign song and the smell of a space heater being on. Instead of Kyungsoo, a different employee was sorting DVDs into the shelves, looking up from his work when Jongin stepped inside.  
“One second, please!” The guy yelled, turning back to the shelves in front of him. He of similar height as Kyungsoo, but build more petite and was wearing what looked like an old varsity jacket.  
Jongin took out _Inception_ from his bag and waited at the counter. He was disappointed that Kyungsoo wasn’t in, but he still needed to return the movie if he didn’t want to pay more money.  
“Okay, I’m here now. How can I help you?” The employee asked with a smile, and Jongin noticed his light pink hair and eyeliner. In Seoul, the sight would have been nothing out of the ordinary, but he hadn’t expected to see someone styled like that here.  
“Uh… I wanted to return this movie.” Jongin continued to stare at the smaller guy in front of him as he handed over the DVD.  
“Inception, alright. I’m guessing that you already paid when you rented it?” The employee commented before scanning the barcode at the back of the case.  
“I did. You’re Baekhyun, right? Do you know when Kyungsoo will be working again?”  
“The one and only. Kyungsoo? Let me check.” The smaller smiled and pulled out a calendar from a drawer. “It looks like he will be working Friday. Why are you asking? Also, I’m not even wearing my name tag, have I gotten so famous that people recognise me now?” Baekhyun asked with a smirk.  
“Oh, okay. He mentioned you on Monday, and he picked out some movies for me so I was just curious what else he might recommend.” Jongin explained, scratching his neck nervously.  
“Did the idiot wear my name tag again?” Baekhyun laughed as he out away the DVD case.  
Jongin just nodded, not sure how to reply.  
“Well, be assured that my taste in movies is equally as good, if not better. So, what are you looking for?” The employee went around the counter and towards the shelves.  
“Nothing in particular. Just nothing too deep, if that’s possible.”  
“Sure. I’ve got the right thing for you, then.” Baekhyun said as he walked over to the _Action_ aisle.  
“Here.” He gave a DVD to Jongin after looking for it for a few moments. “Watch this, it’s great.”

Jongin left the store with _The Avengers_ in his hands. He was sure that he had seen posters for the movie around Seoul, but he hadn’t bothered to actually go see it. He had rented the movie until Friday, giving him two days to watch it.

His hood and shoes were drenched when he arrived at his aunt’s house, the fabric clinging to his skin uncomfortably. After taking off his jacket and placing his sneakers next to the heater to allow them to dry, Jongin went to take a shower. Under the warm water, his tensed back muscles relaxed a little and he sighed. The familiar vanilla scent surrounded him, and he felt like he was back at home, as if everything was back to normal. He massaged his shampoo into his hair and stepped back under the steaming water, rinsing all the soap off his body. Even after he was clean, Jongin didn’t immediately step out of the shower, but rather stayed under the stream for a while, breathing the humid air with his eyes closed.  
When he finally turned off the water, he grabbed a big green fluffy towel and dried his hair roughly before moving on to his body and then wrapping it around his waist. The mirror above the basin had fogged over, and the white tiles were glistening with moisture, so Jongin tilted the window open before exiting the bathroom. He pulled on the same pair of sweatpants as always and didn’t bother with a shirt before sitting down on his bed.

He tried to start reading the book for his literature class, but couldn’t seem to focus, so he joined his aunt in the kitchen, preparing dinner. After he ate, Jongin returned to his room and locked the door before going over to the window. He looked outside, and the sky was painted pink and orange with the sunset, the pastel colours obscured by big fluffy clouds. The rain had stopped after he had arrived at his aunt’s house, and now everything outside was covered in a layer of water.

At 3am, Jongin was awake. He hadn’t watched the movie he rented yet, but his mind still was full of things. He thought about school, how his new class mates seemed nicer than the ones at home and how nobody seemed to mind him. Sure, his appearance would always cause a few stares, bleached hair wasn’t common around here, but at least no one spat hurtful words at him or pushed him around.

Jongin didn’t know when he finally fell asleep, but judging from how tired he was upon waking up, it couldn’t have been before 4am. More asleep than awake, Jongin sat up after being forced out of bed by his aunt’s knocks on the door. He went into the bathroom to pee and then brush his teeth before looking through his suitcase for an appropriate outfit to wear. In the end, he decided on his usual, jeans and a hoodie and quickly dressed himself before unlocking the door.

He didn’t talk much over breakfast, and remained mostly silent during the car ride, but his aunt didn’t seem to mind. He arrived at school five minutes before class started and rushed into the building. In the class room, Chanyeol was sitting at his desk, busy texting and smiling from time to time, probably whenever he got a new message. Jongin sat his bag on his desk and took off his jacket before sitting down, already dreading the next few hours.


	3. Backstory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though it's completely unlike me, this chapter is actually betaed!

Jongin didn’t enjoy The Avengers that much. Sure, the visual effects were good and locations impressive, but everything felt sort of shallow to him. The last two movies had really captured him, not leaving his thoughts, but this one just seemed like 2.5 hours of light entertainment.

When school ended on Friday, everyone rushed home, excited about the weekend. Jongin, who didn’t have any plans, zipped up his bag and exited the classroom. For the past hour, he had to listen to his teacher talk about cellular biology. It took him a few moments to snap out of the trance the subject had put him in.  When he reached the front gate, the student noticed how cold it was and pulled his scarf up to his nose. It didn’t rain, but the air still felt wet from the fog that hadn’t really lifted since the morning.

When he reached the DVD store, the neon advertising seemed to blur with the humidity of the fog. The bell greeted him once again and he felt the warm air engulf his body. He pulled down his scarf and took his bag of his shoulder to hold it in his hands, opening the zipper. Kyungsoo was standing at the counter, but hadn’t noticed Jongin yet as he was apparently reading something. Jongin stared at the employee who was focused on something. He was wearing his glasses again, overgrown fringe resting on the black frame and a dark orange sweater which looked very soft. Jongin resisted the urge to touch the article of clothing as he went up to the counter, bag still in his hands.

“Hi, I wanted to – “He began talking, looking through his bag for the DVD he wanted to return. Kyungsoo looked up to him at that moment and Jongin lost his grip on his bag, sending it crashing to the floor. “Shit.” He cursed and bent down to pick up everything that had spilled. As he put his water bottle back, he felt a presence next to him. Kyungsoo had apparently walked around the counter and was now squatting next to him, helping. The employee held one of Jongin’s textbooks in his hands and smiled.

“So you’re a high school senior here?” The smaller asked, looking at Jongin.

“Yeah. How did you know?” The taller was surprised and stopped putting things in his bag, resting it on the floor.

“I graduated last year. I remember this book very well, I hated it.” Kyungsoo admitted, frowning at the book about geography in his hands. “Do you know my friend Chanyeol, then?”

Jongin sighed. The last days, his classmate had become even more annoying, practically not leaving his side. “You could say that, yes.”

Kyungsoo laughed at the younger’s expression. “Don’t worry, he is just trying to look out for you. He tried to do that to me once, too.”

Both of them stood up and Jongin put the DVD case on the counter as Kyungsoo went back to his place. “The Avengers?” Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, concealed by his thick hair.

“Hm? Oh yeah, Baekhyun recommended it.” Jongin explained as he put his bag over his shoulder again.

The older nodded understandingly. “Makes sense, he likes these. Did you enjoy it?”

“It was okay, I guess. Not that it was bad or anything, just not what I was looking for.”

When they stood at the animation aisle, Jongin couldn’t help but notice how Kyungsoo’s eyes weren’t just big and expressive – their brown colour had gold speckles shimmering in the neon light of the store. He didn’t mean to stare at the older, he really didn’t, but somehow, he couldn’t help it.

“So, I’d definitely go with this one.” he then heard the other say, snapping him out of the trance he had found himself in.

“Oh. Sure.” Jongin replied, internally smacking himself for how dumb that must have sounded.

Giving a shy smile, he headed towards the counter again, not bothering to look at the DVD cover. It wasn’t like he would know the movie, anyways.

It was a weird day. When Jongin arrived at his aunt’s house, the atmosphere seemed different. Everything was slightly fuzzy, as if the colours had been dulled by fog. His aunt was still at work, so Jongin settled down in the living room, kicking off his shoes carelessly. With his headphones in, he laid back on the old couch in the middle of the room. There was a TV, but he had lost the need to connect with the world constantly. Losing himself in the female singer’s strong voice, Jongin sighed and closed his eyes.

Heaven. For the past year or so, the unsettling thoughts would come from time to time. When it was late at night, he searched for a purpose and would be unable to find one. Even after he had stopped dancing, music would never fail to touch his heart. And while he could not really relate to the emotional struggles associated with relationships, the raw emotions portrayed by the idols got to him. Sure, he knew that the singers rarely actually wrote what they were singing, but it didn’t bother him too much.

It was merely afternoon, but it felt like it was night already. He could feel the self-doubt creeping in, the feeling of pointlessly drifting on the stream that was his life.

He had tried to talk to his mom about it before, but she just told him to “man up” and that he was being a teenager.

Maybe it was normal. Obviously, Jongin wasn’t able to know if others felt the same way. Online, he had talked about it and received comforting words, but the internet was different anyways. Now, without that source of positivity, he felt lost.

When he heard his aunt open the front door, Jongin got up quickly and used the sleeve of his sweater to wipe away the wetness from his cheeks.

“Are you okay, Jonginnie?” His aunt looked concerned.  
He just nodded and picked up his stuff that he had so carelessly thrown on the living room floor.

 

It was Wednesday when Chanyeol approached him with a slightly worried expression. His tall classmate was usually all smiles and dorkiness, but that day, his smile seemed weakened.  
“Jongin, what’s up?” He asked, sitting at his assigned desk.  
“Nothing much. It’s just early.” Jongin sighed, burying his face in his hands. Whoever decided that school should start at eight in the morning deserved a special place in hell.

“Kyungsoo texted me about some overdraft fees you have.”

“Shit. Thank you.” Jongin put his head on his desk a bit too forcefully.

The last few days hadn’t been easy for him. Nothing had really changed, but finding motivation had been difficult. He had still gone to school and done his homework sloppily, but everything else was a struggle. This wasn’t new to him, it had happened a few times before.

 

By lunchtime, Jongin was smiling. Not a genuine, happy smile, but one that made sure his classmates would not worry too much. It seemed to work;  the small circle of Chanyeol’s friends that had joined him for a bit of mindless chatter didn’t try to ask him what was wrong. When the tallest of them mentioned Kyungsoo and him apparently knowing Jongin, Jongdae’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, Jongin, you’re into movies? Yeol, why is it always nerds you gravitate towards?” Jongdae’s mouth turned into a cat-like grin before he was interrupted by Tao’s elbow hitting his ribs.

“Not really…” The youngest just answered, not being in the mood to explain his whole situation. The others had asked him questions about his past and his family before, but Jongin had always managed to avoid them. He may not have a tragic backstory in the true meaning of the phrase, but nevertheless talking about everything still hurt.

 

“Oh, but you rented something, right? What was it?” Jongdae persisted while rubbing the part of his torso that had been attacked by the Chinese’s surprisingly sharp elbow.

“Actually, I don’t remember the title. I just go for recommendations.” Jongin wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with sharing that he had no idea about what movies and relied on Kyungsoo’s taste.

Jongdae seemed to have figured it out on his own just fine. “You should watch something together! They have that new American movie people won’t stop talking about, right?”

Tao gave him an annoyed look. “What a great description.”

“The one with the colours in the title.”

“Jongdae, could you be any less specific?”

“Very funny. You know, with the woman and the man.”

The other three just stared at an increasingly frustrated looking Jongdae.

Apparently, Jongin’s chemistry teacher was sick, so the students were given the time off and were free to do whatever they wanted. While many headed to either restaurants or the library, Jongin just stayed at the school yard. Kicking a few small rocks that littered the soft ground, he made his way over to one of the few tables. It was a rather cold day, he noticed, so he zipped his leather jacket shut and went to sit down at one of the tables. The old wood creaked softly upon impact, sinking down to one side slightly when Jongin shifted his weight.

He caught the sight of a widely grinning Jongdae running towards him.

When the elder arrived, he was visibly out of breath.

“I…figured…it out.” He managed to say, hands on his knees.

“The joke I wanted to make at lunch.”

Jongin looked at him, slightly amused that he had kept thinking about it.

“You and Kyungsoo should watch Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“Eww, gross. Why the hell would we do that?”

His almost-namesake just grinned, winked at a more than just a bit confused Jongin and ran off shouting about having to get some things done.

Still confused about the implications made, his afternoon classes were spent like the ones early in the morning. Only half listening, but now mentally preparing himself to go to the now familiar DVD rental again.

It was a cold day, the wind grabbing at Jongin’s exposed neck like the chilly fingers of an ominous creature and hurting his ears with its harsh whispers. His mom would have told him to wear one of the turtlenecks she kept getting him as a present, but he didn’t like the way they made him feel like he was choking.

On his way to the store, Jongin chose to just observe the sounds around him. The cars rushing by, a few roaring motorcycles and little bits of conversations by passing strangers.

 

When he opened the shop’s glass door, the warmth hit him like a wall. It seemed like the heater was running on the highest setting it had to offer, but perhaps the chilly weather had clouded his judgement. Mixed with the smell of warm dust, courtesy of the same heater, there was the strong aroma of coffee in the air. Jongin crinkled his nose at that. Coffee definitely wasn’t his cup of tea. He chuckled at his own pun and finally fully stepped inside the store.

Today, he recognized the song that played a little too loudly – it was one of his old favourites from when he used to judge songs by how well one could dance to them.  So when SHINee’s 'Replay’ sounded through the store, Jongin had to really focus in order to not be engulfed by a wave of nostalgia. He couldn’t afford to make a fool out of himself by getting overly emotional in public, he was past that. But the SHINee song held a special meaning to him as one of the members, Lee Taemin, had actually been a dancer at the same studio as him, and they used to be close when they were little. Taemin made it, he was living the dream of all those getting into dancing, and Jongin hoped he was happy. He remembered getting excited about new songs together with the other boy that people always claimed looked so much like him.

After taking a deep breath to snap out of his flashback, he walked up to the counter where a cup of coffee was resting. There was no employee, but the rummaging sounds in the back told him that it was just a matter of waiting. His presumption turned out to be true and soon, his eyes were met by his favorite employee’s wide ones.

“Jongin! I was worried about you, I’m glad you’ve made it.” The elder smiled, picking up his cup of, apparently, black coffee.

“Yeah, sorry. I was kind of busy.”

“Don’t stress about it. How did you like Peter Pan?” Kyungsoo asked, wiping his bangs out of his face.

“Oh. To be honest, I didn’t watch it, I’m sorry.”

The employee’s smile faltered and his eyebrows shot up. “Wait, what? I actually gave that to you as a joke, assuming you’d at least know Disney movies.”

“I mean, I’ve definitely heard of them, but can’t say I’ve watched them. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Honestly?! I’m aware that I’m a little more into movies than the average person but Disney?”

“I was just focused on… other things before.”

“Don’t act so mysterious! What did you do, steal baby’s lollipops and go do wild parties?” Kyungsoo chuckled after taking a sip of his coffee, which was, judging by the way he hissed, still a little too hot to drink.

“No, none of that. I –“ Jongin contemplated if he should tell the other. “I was a dancer. Was in a crew back in Seoul.”

“Oh, a boy from the big capital! That’s cool though. I love movies the most, but music is definitely in second place.” A smile appeared on his face as his mind seemed to drift off slightly. “I almost forgot again! What did you think of Inception?”

“Confusing, to be honest.”

Kyungsoo was in the middle of drinking some more of his coffee when Jongin said that and he choked a bit, resulting in him yanking the mug away from his face and spilling some of the liquid on his topaz coloured, very soft looking sweater. “Damn it!” Kyungsoo cursed, wiping his mouth. “Not again!”

Apparently, Jongin did understand the basic plot and meaning of the movie though, judging by Kyungsoo’s little nods and hums of approval. Their talk about why the ending was the way it was got interrupted by a loud, slightly high-pitched yell of “Yah!” that sounded through the store. It was probably a co-worker of Kyungsoo’s.

The co-worker turned out to be Baekhyun, who apparently changed his hair color from soft pastel pink to a fiery red. He jogged up to the counter the two of them were standing at.  
“Soo! Where are yesterday’s returns? I swear I just had them and – oh. Hi, potentially paying customer!” The petite man smiled at Jongin, his face obviously trained for a job in retail.  
Kyungsoo turned to his co-worker and put his mug down before adjusting his glasses.

“Baekhyun, first of all, how often do I need to tell you to not call me ‘Soo’, and second of all, I already sorted through them. You’re welcome. This is Jongin by the way, he is in Chanyeol’s year.”  
The other employee looked a bit surprised at the mention of the youngest’s tall classmate.

“Oh. This is the Jongin you talked about? Good for you.” Baekhyun winked and quickly returned to the back of the store before, judging by Kyungsoo’s stares, his life came to a premature end.

Jongin was a bit surprised that the two employees had apparently talked about him, however they did seem like close friends.

“It’s ironic, you know?” Jongin snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the other’s deep voice. “Huh?” he just replied, internally groaning for sounding like an idiot yet again.  
“How you don’t know Peter Pan. Since it’s all about lost childhood and stuff.”

“I guess you’re right.” The younger said, looking down at his fingers that were stained from taking notes in class.

He remembered Jongdae’s words from earlier, and while they were originally meant as a joke, there was some truth to them. Kyungsoo probably knew a lot about movies and spending time with someone would honestly probably be good for Jongin. Feeling a sudden rush of nervous confidence, he looked up with what was reminiscent of his old stage-smirk.  
“We should watch it together, then.”

Kyungsoo looked a bit taken aback, and fumbled with his bangs that rested on the top of his glasses before shyly smiling back at Jongin. “Sure, why not? When do you have time, though?”

“Well, I’m pretty free but maybe just-“ Jongin gestured at the elder’s phone that was resting behind the counter, embarrassed of his own ancient-looking ‘only for emergencies’ one. Kyungsoo seemed to get the idea and gave him his phone after a minute, having opened a new contact page.

When Jongin left the DVD rental store, he didn’t have a new movie with him, but the promise of a text. He smiled while making his way through the now slowly darkening cold of the late October evening. When he entered his aunt’s house, the warmth hit him like a wall again, but instead of coffee, the air smelled like sweet potatoes and slightly of salt, probably indications of what would be for dinner. His stomach made a rumbling noise at the thought of eating something warm and freshly prepared, and he took off his beloved sneakers and leather jacket before slowly making his way to the kitchen.

It had been a good day, one that brought new opportunities and the prospects of friendships, and after dinner, Jongin felt tired. That wasn’t a surprise, he couldn’t really remember a day that hadn’t worn him out. His sweatpants showed visible marks of wear by now, but he didn’t really care. Pulling on a shirt that was soft and broken in, he went to the bathroom.

When he looked at himself in the mirror, he noticed the bags under his eyes and slight shadow around his mouth from little hairs that only started to grow a little bit over a year ago. He also noticed that the shirt he was wearing was the one Taemin had gifted to all his old friends from the dance studio once the first batch of SHINee merch had been printed. It wasn’t an intentional choice relating to the song he had heard earlier, but just one of the shirts he liked to wear around the house and, when he didn’t feel like going without one, to sleep.

With freshly cleaned teeth, Jongin went to lay down on the twin size bed. It was already dark outside, the stars twinkling in the sky that looked like a black blanket draped over the world, obstructed by neither clouds nor the bright lights of a city. He could feel his eyelids get heavier and turned to his side to be more comfortable.

At 3am, he woke up again. His sleep had been uneasy, moving around to find a position comfortable enough to get some rest. He couldn’t remember, he never could, but some images produced by his brain must have deeply upset him as he woke up in cold sweat. Falling back to sleep seemed almost impossible, so Jongin sat up on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his thighs, and stared at the dark wooden door.

In the morning, the eerie feeling still hadn’t left him completely, but he felt a bit better, just his usual tiredness weighing him down. Just like all the other days, Chanyeol’s wide and obnoxious smile welcomed him to class as he sat down in his seat. Just another day, just yet another one to get through.


	4. Development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on Kaisoo Day 2018  
> There is a spoiler for The Lion King in here, but I doubt that there's anyone who hasn't seen the movie or at least heard about the scene.  
> Again, this chapter was betaed, but future chapters probably won't be.

Another day, another boring set of classes. Jongin was slowly losing his mind over biology, literature and maths, and the general loudness of his newly acquired lunch buddies didn’t really help either. It was 3pm when his excuse for a phone notified him about an incoming text. Upon checking the message, Jongin saw that it was in fact from Kyungsoo and promptly dropped his phone on the floor, flailing to try and catch it to prevent any damage.  
Thankfully, the screen didn’t crack, so he let out a relieved sigh before actually reading the message and almost dropping his phone again. It was a simple message, just asking him if he was free on Sunday. He almost definitely should have asked his aunt first, but Jongin decided to not care and promptly declared that he was in fact free that day.

If he was still in Seoul, he would’ve freaked out about this to his online friends, or, a couple of years back, Taemin. But right now, he just smiled to himself while clutching his phone to his chest. He could feel his heartbeat quicken, and maybe this was the moment to admit to himself that he was crushing on the cute, small employee from the DVD store.  
As soon as that thought came, his self-consciousness also started to flare up again. He barely knew that guy, and he probably was nothing but another customer to him. Jongin never thought of himself as special, so why should Kyungsoo? He did agree to watch a movie together, but that maybe he was just being polite.

On the way home, Jongin caught himself staring at his own reflection in a shop window. The hoodie he was wearing was too big for him, bought for comfort rather than fashion and his hair looked like a mess. While he usually didn’t really care how he looked, the contrast of black roots to the almost white strands of hair started to really bother him. Deciding to change that, he went into the small convenience store located on the main road and went over to the hair dyes, passing by the shower gels, skin care and baby products. Ten minutes must have passed before he finally settled for a box of medium brown dye, a rather safe choice that would look decent even if he didn’t bleach his roots first. And if he could avoid it, Jongin was really happy with not having to bother with the tedious process of bleaching his own hair. As he passed the snack aisle, he decided to add a pack of sweet potato chips to his purchase and went over to the register to pay. Digging into his battered wallet for the right amount of cash, his eyes fell upon the old photo still stored in one of the card slots, and he hesitated for a minute before quickly refocussing on pulling out the right bill.

When he arrived at his aunt’s house, he was greeted with a written note instead of the smell of cooking. His aunt apparently decided to meet up with her friends, leaving him alone in the house. There was rice already prepared and some stir-fried vegetables in the fridge, but Jongin decided that he’d wait a bit before eating.  
As he was taking off his jeans in order to replace them with his trusty sweatpants, his phone started to vibrate with an incoming call. It was his mom, asking how he had been and if school was treating him alright. Jongin found himself just giving the expected answers, nodding along even though his mom obviously wasn’t able to see that.  
After years of dyeing his own hair, Jongin basically knew the instructions by heart, but he read them anyways before putting on a shirt he didn’t mind ruining. This particular one was from his middle school science class, a shirt made to celebrate two years of spilled liquids, minor burns, and clouds of smoke. After mixing the colour, he proceeded to put it all over his hair, which actually was in need of a trim. The instructions told him to wait 20 minutes, but knowing the current status of damage of his hair, he set a timer for 30 minutes on his phone instead.

After rinsing the dye and washing his hair thoroughly with his go-to shampoo, he stepped out of the shower slightly more relaxed and smelling of vanilla. After putting on his pants again, he went to sit on his bed and turned on his music again, skipping a SHINee song that made its way on there because of his old friend. He then remembered the food waiting for him thanks to his grumbling tummy and without turning the now playing instrumental song off, he went into the kitchen.  
The night wasn’t eventful. He yelled a short greeting to his aunt when she returned home, but they didn’t talk any more besides that. Without a movie to watch, Jongin tried to read the book for his literature class, but found himself getting more and more tired while having to re-read sentences because his mind had wandered. When he finally fell asleep, his hair wasn’t quite dry and The Cloud Dream of the Nine was resting on his chest, moving up and down with his calm breathing.

Saturdays were supposed to be calm, but Jongin’s day started anything but that when he was awoken by his aunt vacuuming the hallway. Groaning, he turned over to his side and smashed his head into his pillow in an attempt to block out the noise, but ended up laying on his book by accident, the paperback digging into his ribs. Pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes, he reluctantly sat up against his headboard. After just sitting there for a few minutes, he turned so that he could get out of his bed, bare feet hitting the floor with a soft sound. With sleepiness still in his eyes, he walked into the hallway in order to go to the bathroom to relieve his aching bladder.  
When coming out of the bathroom, he smiled at his aunt, who was carrying the large vacuum cleaner.  
“Good morning, Nini. Did you sleep well?” She asked, still focussed on not accidently dropping the heavy device.  
“Yeah, I’m okay.” He just replied, before remembering something. “Auntie, can you do some laundry for me?”  
She looked surprised at the simple nature of the request and quickly agreed.

After sorting that out, Jongin went back to his room and picked up both his iPod and phone. After putting his earphones in and hitting play, he almost laughed at the waft of nostalgia overcoming him because of what he was hearing. He could remember all the hours spent in the practice room, trying to get the moves to Mirotic exactly right. He flipped open his phone and went to his messages, opening the still very empty conversation with Kyungsoo, asking him for his address so he could come over the following day when he realised that he had practically no way of getting there if they weren’t neighbours by coincidence. A text back confirmed that they very much weren’t, so Jongin cursed under his breath before reading the next message he had gotten. Apparently, Kyungsoo was busy in the early afternoon anyways and offered to pick him up since he would already be driving. Jongin let out a sigh of relief as he didn’t have to embarrass himself by asking for a ride.  
After having breakfast, he pulled out his notebook and folders from his backpack to get started on some schoolwork, even though he wasn’t exactly excited about it. He wasn’t bad at math, but the equations still gave him trouble, partially due to the curriculum being different from his school in Seoul.

Saturday passed in a blur of not really doing anything, small conversations with his aunt, and occasionally eating. When Jongin went to bed, he tried to not think of the next day, as the thought of him and Kyungsoo spending time together made his heart flutter uncontrollably. Ultimately, this made his mind wander even more, to images of heart-shaped smiles and kind, wide eyes.

At 3 am, Jongin was still awake. Though his start of the day wasn’t very late, he had gotten enough sleep the previous night to make staying up easy. He didn’t enjoy the small hours, but he was used to them. He was excited for the next day and fell asleep clutching his pillow.  
He woke up early the next morning, but decided to go back to sleep as he knew that there was no use in actually getting up at 7 am. When he woke up again, it was noon and his stomach was making noises that demanded food. Listening to his body, Jongin got up to start his day and suddenly remembered his plans for the evening. In the haze of just having woken up, he stumbled over some clothes he had left laying around and barely managed to catch himself so that he wouldn’t fall face-first to the floor. Instead of picking the clothes up, he just kicked them to the side while grumbling to himself. After searching for a shirt to put on, he regretted that action and bent down to pick up a decently clean sweatshirt to wear around the house. In that moment, he started to realise that he had no idea what he was supposed to wear to Kyungsoo’s house later. He decided that it was an issue he’d deal with later and went to the kitchen to make himself a bowl of overly sugary cereal.

He sent another text, asking what time he’d get picked up, and set his phone down. He wondered if he was sending too many messages, since he didn’t want to appear clingy or overeager. But when the other reported with a cheerful text telling him to be ready around 6pm, Jongin relaxed a little bit. This gave him around 5 hours to mentally prepare himself, so he went into the bathroom to take care of his shadow of facial hair, brush his teeth and take a shower. With that done, he sat on his bed and listened to more music. For the past month, he had thought that his love for music had faded into nothing, but left with no other choice except being alone with his thoughts, he welcomed the cheery, overproduced sounds back like an old lost lover. He still wasn’t dressed properly, but he didn’t care, liking the way that his still slightly damp back felt against the sheets.

He dug around his backpack for a cereal bar he remembered throwing in there but never eating. Upon finding it, he sat back against the headboard and ate the only mildly satisfying snack. He started daydreaming again, about nothing and everything at the same time. In that moment, his thoughts might have held a lot of meaning, but they were forgotten almost immediately. This made him think about the concept of memory on an elemental level, cursing his own particularly bad one. He started to refocus on his surroundings when a rather slow song started playing, sung by one- no, two female vocalists. The duet wasn’t particularly artsy, more of a dance song, but it made Jongin smile. After getting up, he mockingly moved his body to the rhythm, somewhat similar to the choreography that he remembered from seeing the music video a few too many times.

Since he was now already up, he decided to get dressed. Upon seeing the big pile of clothes, he was immediately discouraged, letting out a small noise of discontent. After digging around in the mess of fabrics and his left earphone falling out, he heard the door to his room open. It was his aunt, with a basket of freshly washed clothes she must have gotten the previous day when Jongin was in the bathroom, as he didn’t think she’d enter the room while he was sleeping. He gave her a huge smile of gratitude, and plucked the basket out of her hands. Slightly shaking her head at him, his aunt soon left his room again, with Jongin now sorting through the laundry that was smelling vaguely of flowers and soap.  
Fifteen minutes later, he was dressed in black jeans and a white shirt, throwing on a dark red sweater jacket to stay warm even though his heater was turned on. It was nothing exciting, but he had told himself multiple times that this wasn’t some sort of fancy occasion, just a casual evening with a friend.

Said friend arrived at his house shortly after 5pm, after he had asked for the address via text. Upon reading that, Jongin had smacked himself in the face for not thinking about telling him earlier. He was already waiting outside the house when Kyungsoo pulled up in a slightly battered looking black car. The smaller of the two opened his car door and stepped out to signal his presence, and Jongin quickly walked over.  
“Hey, good to see you!” he greeted, slightly over-enthusiastic in his opinion. But Kyungsoo didn’t seem to think so as he smiled and sarcastically replied with “Yeah, because it’s been so long.” before breaking out into his signature smile. “Almost didn’t recognise you though, without the blond hair.”

The car ride was spent making mildly uncomfortable small talk while listening to some radio station that seemed very fond of dramatic boy-group songs. The lyrics almost made Jongin laugh, while the smaller seemed to not pay much attention to what was being played.  
“So what are we gonna watch?” Jongin asked, looking from the scenery outside the window to Kyungsoo.  
“I haven’t fully decided yet, but I thought we had talked about catching you up on some childhood classics.” The elder replied while making a right turn.

When they entered the decently sized family home, they were greeted by Kyungsoo’s mom, who had apparently anticipated their arrival and proceeded to fuss over the smaller of the two before turning to the taller.  
“So you’re Jongin? I’ve heard so much about you!”  
“Y-You have?” He asked, surprised by the statement, he hadn’t expected to be talked about.  
“Yeah, your Kyunggie here won’t-“ she started to explain before abruptly stopping after noticing the way her son was looking at her. “Anyways, I’ll be in my study, you guys can use the living room TV.”

Kyungsoo groaned softly as he rubbed his eyes, visibly embarrassed by his mother, which Jongin found rather amusing. They went into the living room, and the younger was taken aback by the massive collection of DVDs, Blu-rays and, surprisingly, VHS tapes.

“Dude, you could practically open up your own rental store with these!” he exclaimed, stepping closer to the shelves.  
“To have them ruined by strangers? No thanks. You wouldn’t believe how some people treat the stuff from my work.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, before adding “Not you, though. If you thought that’s what I meant.”

He hadn’t previously thought about that, but it made sense that some people couldn’t be bothered to treat rented items with the necessary respect. He looked at a few more of the titles displayed on the colourful cases before turning back around to face Kyungsoo, who had started to walk over into the kitchen connected to the living room. Upon seeing the younger’s questioning look, he explained that “It’s not a movie without some snacks.” and pulled out a bag of microwave popcorn from one of the cabinets. “You can sit down already if you want.”  
Jongin proceeded to do so, sitting down on the very plush looking sofa. The room looked cozy over-all, decorated with what seemed like years’ worth of memories and soft lighting. When the smaller returned with a bowl of popcorn in his hands, Jongin made room for him to join him on the couch.

They ended up watching The Lion King, as Kyungsoo claimed that it was the best Disney movie ever made. Once the movie started playing, the two of them leaned back on the comfortable couch and Jongin used the opportunity to look at the older guy. He was wearing his glasses, hair still too long and thus resting on the frame, and the same dark orange sweater that didn’t match the shade of his hair at all, but the younger still thought it was pretty.

Jongin wasn’t sure if it was some crime against the art of film or the director to talk over a movie, but when Kyungsoo started a conversation, he was glad to reply.  
Grabbing a handful of popcorn, the smaller asked: “So where did you suddenly come from? I never saw you until recently.”  
“I actually moved here from Seoul not too long ago, remember?”  
“Oh, right. What made you move though?”  
“It’s a bit complicated.”

Jongin decided to leave it at that and not explain how him moving to the countryside was basically a punishment for bad behaviour.  
“What about you, have you always lived here?” he asked Kyungsoo, who was currently chewing a mouthful of popcorn. After swallowing that down, he replied hurriedly.  
“Yeah, pretty much. But I wanna move for college. I’ve considered Seoul a lot. Hey, we would basically be opposites.” The elder chuckled at his own statement and Jongin pretended not to see the slightly chewed popcorn that had made his way onto his sweater.  
Instead, he asked: “What do you want to study? Film?”  
Kyungsoo laughed at that. “Not everything in my life is about movies. Actually, I want to study business. I know, it’s lame, but at least it will pay well once I am – hey, stop looking so judgemental!”  
Jongin almost choked before replying to the accusation. “I’m not judging, I swear! I just didn’t expect that, really.”

The conversation died down a little after that, and Jongin was grateful that Kyungsoo pretended not to notice him crying at the scene of Mufasa’s death. As the movie progressed, both of them started to slouch more, eventually leaning against each other, which made the younger hope that his heartbeat couldn’t be felt by the other.

3am came and went, with both of them passed out on the couch, in a position that would surely lead to some stiff necks and back pain. But the warmth from the other’s body was comforting, and Jongin subconsciously snuggled a little closer to Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

 


End file.
